What if your partner doesn’t seem interested in foreplay?

 

Some people just don’t seem to care about foreplay.

Yeah, being a lazy or selfish lover could be part of the problem, but it might just also come down to a lack of confidence in their skills or a lack of information about the how’s and why’s.

Talking about what you want in bed isn’t always easy, especially if you’re worried about hurting or offending your partner.

Here are some tips to make it a little easier:

Start on a positive note. Instead of mentioning what they’re not doing, begin by telling them what they do that feels good and how you want more. For example: “I love it when you kiss my neck before we have sex. I could let you do that to me all night.”

Don’t lay blame. Telling them your body’s craving something different will go over a lot better than telling them they’re not satisfying you.

Show and tell. Sometimes a person needs a little extra encouragement. The next time you hug or kiss, hold them a little longer and gently guide their hands along your body while telling them how good it feels. Watching a video on tantric sex together might also give them a little nudge in the right direction, especially if not wanting foreplay has to do with a lack of know-how.

Ask them what they want from you. Tell them how much turning them on turns you on. Follow with asking if there’s anything they want you to do more of. It’s a great way to open up the dialogue so you can both share what you want.

Tell them why it’s important to you. You might need to lay it all on the table and make them understand why you need foreplay.

Some points that might be worth mentioning:

• it helps you get wetter/harder for sex
• it helps you orgasm or have stronger orgasms
• not everyone gets aroused at the same pace and some need more time than others
• it helps you feel closer to them
• it increases body awareness of pleasure zones